A simple choice that kept me from ruining the family holidays
This year everything is different. Not just professionally (I’m self-employed now), but also in terms of holidays. Usually we pack for a fortnight’s stay in the lovely hills of the Provence, France, close by the most picturesque Luberon villages such as Gordes, L’Isle-sur-la-Sorgue, Fontaine de Vaucluse, … . But this year we decided to visit the queen of Belgian seaside cities, beautiful Ostend.
Suddenly, my mind goes blank with panic
Not sure about the weather, we packed everything we could possibly need that week: rain wear, sun wear, party games, running shoes, yoga mat, books, laptop, towels, sleeping pillows, … the lot. With a fully loaded car we brightly headed off for a straight 100 kilometers to the Belgian coast. We had a lovely evening drive, no traffic at all, sunshine all the way. My daughter and husband were thrilled with anticipation. In the minutes before arrival they started playing summer songs like Surf City, the Lambada and Summer in the City on the car radio to get in the mood. But then, as we stop at the last traffic light before the apartment, my mind suddenly goes blank with panic: “OMG, did I bring the keys?”
Why not go back tomorrow ?
I collected myself, focused on my breathing, feeling the sensations in my body without letting this initial panic get ahead of me. I ask my husband to look for the key in my handbag behind the zipper. As he tries to find what is not there I tell them that I have forgotten to bring the keys and that I am really really really sorry. His reaction is silence and a numb stare outside the car window. He wanted to return immediately. In the past I would have been unforgiving towards myself for such a forgetfulness. Now, I could see what was there: we were by the sea, with no key, and we’d have to drive back 100 kilometers to get it. Such was the situation. I accepted it. Surprisingly, I was able to remain calm and be kind to myself and understanding in the disappointment of my dearest family members. We headed back home in silence while I kept bringing awareness to my breath and the whole body. And then, when we finally took the last turn towards our street, something amazing happened. Suddenly my husband smiled lightheartedly: “What a splendid holiday we had in Ostend. I know, it was all too short, but ever so relaxing. Next time, let’s stay a little longer, don’t you agree? Why not go back tomorrow?”
We all started laughing so hard our bellies ached with amusement. At home, we ate the evening pick-nick we packed for in the apartment, kept laughing and mocking the situation, concluding that we now had another funny story to tell at parties. We decided to drive back to Ostend the morning after, all in good spirits. That was our choice of dealing with it.
A simple choice makes all the difference
Would I have been able to cope with this unfortunate situation without the mindfulness practice? Probably not. It could have been an ugly experience, enough to ruin the whole holiday. But it wasn’t. Staying calm and not making a drama of this influenced my husband’s and daughter’s reactions. That’s what a daily practice can do for you: you make a free choice to have a good holiday. And that choice makes the difference between a good and a bad holiday.
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